This is the first Father's Day that I am without my dad on this earth. I have many mixed feelings about today. I'm grateful that my father is not in pain, and in a place of happiness not on this Earth, but there are many days I still really miss him. Some days I think a lot about him, and others are a bit less. But every day at least one thought comes in to my mind regarding him.
I especially miss him in the summertime, when it's gardening season. He knew everything about plants and how to make them grow big, strong, and fruitful. That was his profession and obsession for basically his entire life. Luckily, I grew up around his brilliance, assisting him in the garden every year that I can remember, whether it was watering, weeding, planting, putting up bean poles, picking, shucking, snapping, pruning, or eating. He'd pick a fresh tomato off the vine, or an apple off the tree and eat it right there. There is nothing better than a tomato still warm from the sunshine, right after you've picked it. Even though I picked up his green thumb, there are still days when I wish he were here to tell me what to do to get my plants to reach their full potential. Mostly, I just wish I could pick up the phone whenever I want and talk to him.
Even after my parents' divorce, he was still super supportive of me and Michael. My relationship actually improved with him greatly as a result. Dad would always make sure he knew when and where I was performing. Whether it be for violin or voice, he was there. And he was always proud of me. Even when I'd come home from UT to LA those first couple years, he'd want me to sing in church so he could brag about me even more. And I can still remember his face when he saw me in my wedding dress. He just hugged me and looked at me, telling me I was pretty. And I did feel pretty, and proud to be his baby girl.
I miss him today. I love him forever.
And I'm grateful to my Father in Heaven who is always there, no matter what. He provides comfort and inspiration when I need it the most. He watches out for my dad, and I'm sure he's keeping him busy on the other side of the veil. I know that my family is eternal and that is the greatest blessing I can remember on this Father's Day!