Sunday, June 19, 2011

A Father's Day in Remembrance

This is the first Father's Day that I am without my dad on this earth. I have many mixed feelings about today. I'm grateful that my father is not in pain, and in a place of happiness not on this Earth, but there are many days I still really miss him. Some days I think a lot about him, and others are a bit less. But every day at least one thought comes in to my mind regarding him.

I especially miss him in the summertime, when it's gardening season. He knew everything about plants and how to make them grow big, strong, and fruitful. That was his profession and obsession for basically his entire life. Luckily, I grew up around his brilliance, assisting him in the garden every year that I can remember, whether it was watering, weeding, planting, putting up bean poles, picking, shucking, snapping, pruning, or eating. He'd pick a fresh tomato off the vine, or an apple off the tree and eat it right there. There is nothing better than a tomato still warm from the sunshine, right after you've picked it. Even though I picked up his green thumb, there are still days when I wish he were here to tell me what to do to get my plants to reach their full potential. Mostly, I just wish I could pick up the phone whenever I want and talk to him.

 Now he may not look that young and spry in these photos, because these are the only ones I have on my computer of him, but I promise you, up until a couple years ago people always said he never looked his age. Glad I got some good genes there. I wish I had pictures to show you of him in his army uniform, all pressed and dressed. He was the looker, I must say!

Recently, my memories of him have been when he would get out in the middle of the driveway and do a "rain dance" accompanied with "Native American" song to try and make it rain. We'd always laugh and say things like, "Daaaaaad!" Those embarrassing moments are some of the things I look back on with most fondness. I also remember him doing handstands in the middle of the living room floor. Or riding on his back like he was a horse. He'd buck and neigh and we'd try to hold on for dear life. Neighing, that's another thing. The man could talk to horses. I'm not kidding. He'd neigh and they'd neigh back. They'd carry on a conversation for at least 5 minutes. Don't have a clue what the heck they were saying to each other, and I doubt my dad did either, but it was still fun. (I think my brother Michael has inherited the talking to animals talent: He can bleat and goats will bleat right back to him. He developed this on his mission to Jamaica where there are LOTS of goats. It's hilarious.)

Even after my parents' divorce, he was still super supportive of me and Michael. My relationship actually improved with him greatly as a result. Dad would always make sure he knew when and where I was performing. Whether it be for violin or voice, he was there. And he was always proud of me. Even when I'd come home from UT to LA those first couple years, he'd want me to sing in church so he could brag about me even more. And I can still remember his face when he saw me in my wedding dress. He just hugged me and looked at me, telling me I was pretty. And I did feel pretty, and proud to be his baby girl.

I miss him today. I love him forever.

 And even though my dad is no longer with me on this Earth, I have a really kind and loving father-in-law who is a great influence in my life. Michael's father, Randy (driving the famous "Red Jeep"), is a good man in every sense of the word. He works hard, provides for his family in many ways, and shows his love for children and ancestors every time I'm around him. I'm grateful to be a part of the Black family.

And I'm grateful to my Father in Heaven who is always there, no matter what. He provides comfort and inspiration when I need it the most. He watches out for my dad, and I'm sure he's keeping him busy on the other side of the veil. I know that my family is eternal and that is the greatest blessing I can remember on this Father's Day!


  1. Aww Bec, this is awesome. I miss Dad a lot, too. Wish he could be around forever. He was a good man.

  2. Yeah, I agree with you Michael. He was sure something else. I was so happy to hear his name as your middle name during the wedding ceremony. Made me feel like he really was there and that his legacy will go on.

    I think you and Nat should name some kid Wilburn to keep that going! ;)